Big Brother 13' premiere - Online

"Big Brother 13" has started with a bang, as host Julie Chen dropped no less than three bombs on the contestants. We are so thrilled Evel Dick is back [*sarcasm*]. But let's see how we got there ...

Julie welcomes us and says the eight newbies are going to be forced to pick a partner to play the game with, then three former pairs are returning to play again. Not a huge shock, once they revealed the "Double Trouble"/"Dynamic Duo" twist when they announced the contestants.

I have no predictions as far as the pairs go, but having met the eight newbies - I really, really hope Kalie and Shelly team up. They were my faves by far.


Meet the New Hamsters

So in the intro packages, Dominic seems much more pathetic than he seemed in real life, with the "living with mom thing." Cassi comes across as the sweet girl she seemed when I met her. Lawon is crazypants and I adore him. Keith is not fooling around when he says he's either in church or chasing tail. That's what he told me as well, which ... OK.

Shelly seems much more redneck in her package than she seemed in real life. Adam is much more animated in his package than his interview, which was very low key. I do love him, though. Kalia, who was very articulate and smart when I interviewed her, comes across as a bit of a ditz, which is too bad. Porsche? Was my least favorite person in interviews and is my least favorite here. She's used to being the hottest girl everywhere she goes? Really? 'Cause you're kind of a butterface. And Cassi the model is way hotter than you, Porsche. Also, does "VIP Cocktail Waitress" really mean high-class call girl?

At the house, Porsche, Dominic, Lawon and Shelly get to enter first, followed by Cassi, Adam, Keith and Kalia. Porsche talking-heads that the doctor helped her boobs. Oh, really? I Couldn't tell that those gravity-defying softballs were not real.

In intros, Keith lies about his job, Adam is super charming, Porsche lies about her job and says she's a student because she's worried her job sounds "too luxurious." Or they'll think you're a hooker. Cassi also lies and says she's going to be a student in the fall and is not a model.

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